[few thoughts]

Thoughts will always emerge when you are in trouble
I have been scared of writing in english over a long period
no matter in essays. assignments and presentation panels
i was telling myself that i need to overcome my speaking and writing problems
but, the problems will just always be there

Confidence is the key to success
and you need to work hard and smart in order to achieve your goal
i'm just not having enough confidence and faith in myself
that is the excuse
...
i should confess that i'm not that kind of students who can work very hard over a long time
that's why i always finding excuses for myself for not doing dissertion straight
that's why i always finding excuses for myself for seeking people's assitance
wondering how people will react when they are reading my lousy essay
and think that could be even lousier than the JC students'.
sometimes i will just think perhaps i shall just use the language that i'm more familar with to do my dissertation
or even to expressing myself
doubts always raise but no solutions are found

i was searching the photos of my SEP photos of Tsinghua, China
suddenly all the sweet memories just emerged

it's time to refresh
maybe "recharge" is just another excuse for me again
after a long and tiring submission
i found out i'm really getting lost and lost in understanding "what contributes a good design?"
and "what is called good design?"
all of these statements have been floating around my mind after i was bombed during my final crit in year4
some tutors are just being very biased towards someone
and most of the tutors think they are professional enough to make a quick crit
sigh sometimes we are just the guinea pigs
but nothing i can do
especially when i was in the situation of lost
i could not really decide what i want in such a short time
due to the nature of my SELF
and my lack of experience and confidence
and i always realize and understand the problems in a clearer pictures after that
and it's always too late to make any make up to it

perhaps it's the best time for me to review myself
while my friend have just started to become a shareholder of a company
while my friend is paying installment for their OWN cars every month

...